Pogger

Scene: An elementary school lunch room.

A bunch of "cool kids" sit at a lunch table. They are all hovered over something in the middle of the table, they are cheering, rooting.

New kid walks up to them.

NEW KID: Hey guys, my name is Rollin, today is my first day, can I sit with you?

All kids look up and observe him all over.

LEADER KID: You can sit with us....only if you have what it takes to be a Slam Bam Jam. And by the looks of you, you don't.

All the kids snicker.

NEW KID: Slam Bam Jam? What's that?

LEADER KID: That's our club and you've got to prove your skills at pogs.

NEW KID: Pogs? What are pogs?

All kids laugh, random shouts of laughing and stating about how he's a loser and everything for not knowing about pogs.

LEADER KID: Geez kid, until you're a Slam Bam Jam, you're nothin. Kick rocks.

All kids get up from the table, lunch bell rings. New kid stands alone. Up walks a strange cowboy kid, a very young Clint Eastwood type. He has a piece of straw in his mouth.

COWBOY KID: So, you wanna be a Slam Bam Jam, huh?

NEW KID: I just want to fit in with everybody else. And I don't know what the fuck pogs are.

COWBOY KID: I can help you, teach you. But you gotta be ready. You gotta be....

NEW KID: ... be? Be what?

COWBOY KID: (beat) A fighter.

Next scene.

We see a montage of New Kid's training. He's pumping iron. He's staring stacks of pogs down like meditation. He's doing pog football like drills. Karate like drills all involving pogs. There's Rocky or Karate Kid music in the background.

Final drill.
COWBOY KID: You have proven yourself...um...New....Kid. You are ready for the final test.

NEW KID: (bowing to his sensail) I won't fail you master.

COWBOY KID: Good. Now I will place the stack of pogs behind you while you are blindfolded. You must then use your other senses and your mind to perform the perfect slam in one jump.

Cowboy kid ties blind fold around new kid's eyes. He turns him around and places the pogs. He steps away from the new kid. Beat of silence. Cowboy kid yells out, not a word, but a strong signal to new kid to perform the slam. New kid yells out and makes a huge slamming jump and gesture. The pogs fly everywhere. A beat of silence. New kid takes off blindfold. He is astounded at his achievement.

COWBOY KID: You have achieved the perfect slam. You are the chosen one. You must pog with the lead Slam Bam Jam.

Scene: Same set up in lunch room. New Kid approaches the Slam Bam Jam table.

NEW KID: I have come to challenge the greatest pogger here.

LEADER: Ha ha, look who's back. So you think you have what it takes huh? Ok NERD, let's do this!

Pogs get set up, big elaborate battle scene to be played out. Everyone surrounds them. Leader and new kid warm up. Cowboy kid goes to the center of the "ring".

COWBOY KID: Ok, I will place the pogs in the center. Each pogger slams once. Who ever has the best sudden death slam will be the victor. Slam Bam Jam leader, you shall go first.

Leader boosts up the crowd, gets cocky.

LEADER: Woo hoo! Let's get this tea party over with!

The leader makes a big slam. He's content, all the people cheer. Meanwhile, new kid is meditating in his corner. Cowboy kid picks up the pogs and re stacks them in the middle.

COWBOY KID: Slam bam jam leader, you have successfully slammed 85% of your pogs. New Kid, it is your turn.

New kid gets up and does a calm breathing ritual, he is becoming one with the pogs. All are silent. He jumps up, makes a big karate sound, and slams down the pogs. Everyone gasps. It is clear that he has completed the perfect slam.

COWBOY KID: You have slammed a perfect slammed. You are the champion!

All kids ooh and ahh the new champion.

LEADER: (starts balling and throwing a fit!) I hate you! AHHH!! It's not fair! I'm the champion! I'm gonna tell my mommy on you! Teacher!

He runs off.

BLACKOUT